JoKer’s Blog

da lame gler x update blog nie…n still cant believe i’m still have dis frenster account..ingt mcm nk dlete je..tp maybe not kot…anyway…its 12C rite now outside…sejuk gler…m’gigil2 aku dlm saratogah nie…dis new place bring new xperience..n new memory also…

having an insomnia..or maybe sleep deprivation..xtaula mn satu..yg pnting,kitaran tdow da x btl..gler btl…da mcm 1 kitaran sengsara…nie sumer2 penangan exam..hbt2..smpai aku xle tdow…dpt tdow pun 2-3 jam je…otak pun da rase laen…bdan pun da rase laen..ingt nk mkn je mase2 winter nie…time2 mcm niela tringt blk kat mlysia..huhu..panas spnjg taun..bohongla kalau ckp x rndu malaysia..rndu gler2 kot..tp apekan daya…lmbt lg nk blk…bln 7 insyallah…e2pun kalau xde aral melintang..

mmg byk dugaan ble blaja luar dr mlaysia nie..dpt bukak mate luas2..dpt blaja pnglaman baru..mcm2la..cnthnye mcm aku nie skrg…ngan suasana nk exam,laptop rosak,ngan xle tdownye…mcm2..tp sabarlah..e2 je yg termampu bt skrg..ape2pun…moga2 aku dpt mngharungi sumer2 nie ngan aty yg tenang…amin~..

29 hari lg..or lbh sdap bunyinye,4 minggu 1 hari…xske sgt nk tulis blog psl nie..tp ape leh bt..its the truth,xle lari…its almost raining outside n i’m still thinking bout dis post…still mencari rentak n expressi yg ssuai..huhu..

when being ask by most people, “xcited x nk fly nie?”..i’m still looking for the answer..secara jujurnye,of course aku xcited!..i’m waited for so long..tp bkn e2 jwpan yg secara tptnye untk soalan e2..its really hard,when everthing is mixed..xcted,risau,sdh,gmbira..sumernye..

jauh aku t’menung…fkiran asik melayang2..what’s gonna be in 6 years from now..are we will be the way we are now..it’s not fun bile u have to go far away espcially when u r in the early stage in relationship..n most of the couple,the hardest time is within 2-3 years..mine juz 4-5 months old!..its not like i dont have faith but being haunted by last memories makes me awake…

it’s been 2 weeks since

the last time i saw u…

the last time i saw u at the bus stop…

the last time i saw u smile…

the last time i saw u laugh…

the last time we lunch together…

the last time i saw ur brown eyes..

and i know dat i’m not so good in words..

not so good in emotional expressions…

not so good in time management…

not so good in relationship…

but i always try my best n i wish…

wish that i can spent more time with u…

wish i can make u laugh more…

wish to make u smile more…

wish i can repay u backfor what u had done…

wish to be a better person than i am now…

untill now,i’m still remember…

how u laugh…

how u mad at me…

all the places we been..

all the food we eatn drink…

all the stories we shared…

all the problems we had…

n i still remember the way u look at me…

the way u glare at me…

how fun it was..1 week n 5 days..i know the days never be enough for us..even a year or thousand years..it’s been a great fun for me..for a normal,ordinary guy like me…but time is running out..the clock is ticking…there’s aint much time left for me…

i’m really2 sorry if…

i had ever make u mad…

make a heart feelings…

never fullfill my promises..

n make u cry…

i’ll guess we never see again..at least for a year..but all the memories will always solid in my mind..thanks..

m’hitung hari…hari demi hari…hari demi hari…

owh,how i wish…i wish…

biarlah sumernye b’jln dgn lancar…xde ape2 mslh..wlpun aku sndri skrg dlm kemelut..hati yg b’belah2…bkn kerana perasaan sndri ttp kemelut situasi..huh,sukar bg aku ungkaikan…

tringt blk words drpd bks PM kt,’apabila kt memandang sesuatu,pandanglah ia 10 taun ke hadapan’…n i look my future..still gambling bout it..wether its gonna be bright or else…

n i used to think bout my friends..how they gonna be..10 years ahead..kenangan kte sukar dilupakan…ade yg manis,ade yg pahit..n 2 sumer adalah something yg very2 valuable bg aku..thanks a lot guys…truskan hidup walaupun pahit..n i see u guys a year after dis…

n to u my dear in past..thanks for those memories…i’m so sorry dat i hurt u..n letting u go..not becoz there’s no more feeling but..sukar bg aku ckp..i’m a man with a few word…it hurt me..when saw u with a new guys..x smpai sebln pun kte break,n u already find another..u sent back sumer brg2 n i wish i could do da same..xpelah,i noe dat u are very happy now..gud luck in your exam n dats all i can wish..n dats y i let u go..

for u my dear 2day,tomorrow n future i hope..sowy coz u dpt bf yg serabai mcm nie..lack of emotion expression,bad temper and so on…i wish hbgn nie last for long,long..i will miss u when i’m in a new land..sorry kalau x dpt cntct dlm ms pjng..

alhamdulillah…

segala-galanye b’jalan ngan lancar…walaupun ade certain2 perkara yg harus dikorbankan…honestly aku ade rase excited,tp disebalik xcited tu,ade mcm2 prsaan laen…mcm iklan astro plak..mcm2 ada…

but seriously,the feeling of afraid,sorrow…sumer mix…mcm 1 yg xle nk ckp mcm mn..2 years i hv 2 sacrifice to get it…now i wont look back!..

thanks a lot aku ucapkan..pd sape2 yg jd kwn aku..x kiralah kat mn..johor ke..KL ke…but its been fun to be with u guys…n pd yg pnh hadir dlm idup aku,trma ksh byk2..wlaupun aku tau thanks is not enough..maaflah diatas sgla kslahan aku,kkasaran aku,kjahilan aku,keegoan aku,kebodohan aku..maaf untk sgala2nya…

i noe after dis,i hve to be sm1 new…new dr sudut pemikiran,attitude,judment…n andai kata aku t’pesong dr jln yg lurus,btlkanlah…

hari demi hari..time by time…aku xtau r sama ada is it masa yg mmg cpt berlalu nowdays or kita yg sedang hanyut..but still…aku ttp mnghitung hari..everthing da setel..skrg juz wait..1 penantian yg amat2 mnyiksakan…bukanlah terlalu mngharap atau terlalu excited..tp e2lah..mcm org tua2 slalu ckp…’kesabaran e2 sparuh drpd iman,penantian e2 1 pnyiksaan’…mmg btl kot…huhu…

aku sndiri x brani ckp..wat future awaits me there…in the new land,new world,new air,new hope…its an honour for me 2 be there..but sometime..i do asked myself..are u ready for it??…well…for sure,e2 adalah smthing yg aku mmg xle nk bg jwpan..n 1 day,aku akn bg…

tgn aku da strt blk nk tulis blog nie..

nie musti pengruh bdak2 nie..

hahaha..

anyway,never regret pun kalau tulis mende nie..

coz who know ape yg akn t’jadi esok?kan?…

It’s been a change of plan..gezzz..

i tot i will nvr go far..but..

dis time..it will be far…

juz like a dream..n juz like i wish for…

alhamdullilah…Allah perkenankan juagk walapun lmbt..

now tinggal lg a ittle things to do…n i will be ‘free’..

well,its not a revealing feelings but…

like i said once before..life must be go on…

even though its hard,its painfully n its unfair…

perjalanan seribu batu b’mula dgn langkah pertama..

n when all the hope is on ur shoulder.. noe u have 2 keep going on..

life is not about me…its bout us..making a choice is not consider individually…

its bout we,us…

skrg….ape yg perlu aku buat…update blog nie lg(kalau xde keje..hehehe)..

n wat else…pray the Lord…

moga2 di mudahkan segala urusan…

amin…

aku ingt da mls sbnrnye nk renew blog nie..

tp..

trasa gtl plak tgn nie..hehehehe…

well…

da satu taun past..

aku da bazirkan 1 taun(rugi ooo…)..

for those yg pham,phamlah…

yg still wondering…biorlah..hehehe..

xpelah..biorpun da satu taun,aku da blaja byk mende…jumpe ramai kwn kat ukm nie haa..nk2 bdk nuklear aku…bdk2 silat aku..mmg diorng best giler2..kalau bab2 nk gelak2,ske2,mmg xde hal..hahaha..

gonna miz them after dis coming months..tp wat to say..haluan idup masing2..kite juz decide,slebihnye serahkan kepada Allah s.w.t..but for sure,its time to move on..

ape2hal coming afta this..aku try update blog(sbb xde keje nk bt!)..hehe…

life is hard..n x adil..ibarat 1 laluan yg lurus..dan xde henti…once u fall on the side,its hard 2 get back on track…people wont noe,wat i do,wat i think n the most important,why i did it.

my father use 2 say,the different between a boy and a man is the way their thinking…every man can be a boy but not all boy can be man. and i start 2 believe it(eventhough i wont a the beginning!)..

i’ve made a hard choice in my life. i’ve sacrifice something…n its hard 2 do…coz its too valuable 2 me..mcm kate org, ape yg kite syg,e2la yg kite kn korbankan..xpelah,if life like dat,aku rela follow…

mcm aku ckp td,p’bezaan antara boy n man is the way their thinking..dan aku p’caya,i began to look life dr aspek dan sudut yg b’beza..ape yg da aku korbankan,aku lepaskan,biarlah….let it free.

sbb aku once t’jatuh dr laluan yg lurus nie,my path changed…